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I grabbed another trash bag and started flinging the mess back into it. I couldn’t hold my anger down, although it wasn’t my baby I was mad at. I had being so glad when I saw him coming through that door, when it could have been anybody… As I knew there that there was no way I could sleep now, I decided to take a hot shower, get dressed, and later think about what I was going to do the rest of the time till went to Stefan’s. I stood under the shower, hot fingers massaging my back, and all I could do was cry. My tears were washed away by the gentle indexes, I wanted them to wash my pain away too. I stood there till I felt I could again face the cold, empty house. After I gave Sammy a bath, I went outside and sat on the porch swing. The sun looked beautiful as it stepped above the horizon. The blue and orange collided, making a light violet streak across the otherwise midnight sky. It looked like a painter was miss-striking the painstakingly perfect spot. When I finally felt relaxed. ” “I dress in Kaitlin’s clothes as much as I can get away with it, but recently I got caught by my mom. She went crazy at first, but I cried and cried, she said it was OK and later that week she brought me to see a doctor. He did lots of tests and then told her that I was a girl inside but a boy outside, or something like that.” “Wow” was all that I could muster. “Wow”. “Now,” He said,”I am taking all sorts of pills every day, and the Doctor gives me shots every week. They are making me feel really funny, like soft and sexy and weird inside.” “They are sending me away to some special school in Connecticut after the Summer is over where they say I can dress, act, and learn to be a girl and they will help me to adapt to my body. It’s real scary” he said. “Mom said that it was OK to dress like this today, and that I should not be frightened. She even painted my nails for me and helped me put on the lipstick. I wanted you to be the first of my friends to know, because you are so special.
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